Privacy Policy

This page explains how SNH Publications LTD uses any information you give to us, and the ways in which we protect your privacy.  I have injected a bit of humour, just to break up the monotony.  If you object to that then please leave my site never to return.

PRIVACY POLICY

It is SNH Publications Ltd policy to respect your privacy regarding any information we may collect from you or which you may provide to us, in the circumstances set out below.

Accordingly, we have developed this fabulous (I mean look at it, it’s absolutely outstanding) privacy policy in order for you to understand how we collect, use, communicate, disclose, safeguard, juggle, massage, frot and otherwise make use of your personally identifiable information (“Personal Data”).  It’s about the length of 50 Shades of Grey, without any of the intrigue or excitement.  There certainly isn’t any of the raunchiness.

We will only collect and use your Personal Data where:

  • we have lawful grounds to do so, including to comply with our legal obligations
  • we are performing a contract with you for our services
  • we have legitimate interests in using your Personal Data and your interests and fundamental rights do not override those interests.
  • We are ordered to be Grand Admiral Thrarg when his invasion fleet takes dominance over the world and implants me with a mind control device

For the purposes of the EU General Data Protection Regulation ((EU) 2016/679) (“GDPR”), we, SNH Publications Ltd, are the “data controller”. If you have any questions about this policy or about how we use your Personal Data, please contact us via our contact details at the end of this policy.  You can also try telepathy, but that’s usually unreliable.  Avoid carrier pigeons as I have a fear of contracting psittacosis.

This policy is effective as of 11.05.18. We review our privacy practices on an ongoing basis because its such good fun, and as such we may change this privacy policy from time to time.  I might occasionally slip a rude word in here somewhere.  Please check this page frequently to ensure you are familiar with its current content….or you could just spend your time more fruitfully.

  • The Data Controller is S. Hudson.  I’m not actually sure who he is, but he’s a good egg.
  • The Personal Information is purely the name and email address you put into the sign-up box
  • This information is collected through mail chimp email sign up…I’m not sure how, but I think feral badgers might somehow be involved
  • It is collected to inform you about upcoming book releases and to tell you when a new blog post is out.
  • It will be used to send you as the above
  • It will be shared only with Mail Chimp who collect the data
  • You are free to use a fake name and a free email address.  May I recommend using a name that has humorous overtones (I don’t get out much and need to get my jollies somehow)
  • Those who sign up should be aware of the adult nature of the content.  I occasionally say the words [CENSORED BY THE JUSTIFIED AGENTS OF MUMU] & flange
  • Emails will be held purely by mail chimp.  I will not have access to them.  What even is mail chimp?
  • Information requests about your data should be sent to mail chimp

1. Personal Data we collect via MailChimp (the “Website”)

Personal Data that you provide to us:
We only collect Personal Data where you choose to interact with us on the Website in the following ways:

When you sign-up to our blog: receive free content, including eBooks, videos and offers;

When you sell your soul to a crossroads demon:  We get a bonus for every soul signed up

 

Data that we collect automatically
We automatically collect certain information when you visit our Websites – such as the type of browser and operating system you are using, and the domain name of your Internet service provider. We do not link this information with any Personal Data.  We have no idea what colour your bedroom wallpaper is or whether or not you enjoy the hypnotic tunes of Justine Bieber.

The website owner has no idea how to use this data for any purpose.  It’s like wizardry to him.  In fact, even Gandalf would probably struggle.  We may also collect data automatically through our use of cookies on the Website. Please see our cookie policy to find out about the types of cookies we set and why, and how you can adjust your settings to disable cookies.  There’s a joke in there somewhere, probably best it remains hidden.

2. Use of your Personal Data

We will only use your Personal Data when the law allows us to. Most commonly, we use your Personal Data to:

  • process and manage your use of our website;
  • respond to your questions, comments and requests;
  • where you have opted-in to receive marketing from us, deliver communications that are relevant to your preferences / may be of interest to you;
  • Bring forth the end of days by resurrecting Cthulhu

 

3. Sharing of your Personal Data

We take your privacy seriously and will not share your Personal Data with others, except as permitted by applicable law or as set out below:

We share Personal Data as necessary with third parties who provide services or functions on our behalf and who require the information to provide those specific services to us. These third
parties may include things like Paypal.  We will never sell your data with third parties or give your data to third parties with the purpose of them selling you stuff…unless Satan himself drops buy and kind of insists.  Not really much we can do in that regard.  I mean come on, he is the dark Lord.  The risk of Eternal hellfire or your email address….hmm, it’s  tough one.

4. Keeping your Personal Data secure

We have implemented security policies and technical measures to safeguard the Personal Data we collect. We maintain physical, electronic and procedural safeguards that comply with
applicable law, including the GDPR, to safeguard Personal Data from accidental loss, destruction or damage and unauthorised access, use and disclosure.  Everything is guarded by my dog Killer.  I have attached a picture.  Fear him, for he is terror.

5. Retention periods for use of your Personal Data

We will use and store your Personal Data only for as long as necessary, bearing in mind the uses of your Personal Data as described in this privacy policy and otherwise as communicated to you. I don’t actually think I understood what I just wrote.  We review the Personal Data we hold at regular intervals and delete permanently or anonymise any Personal Data which is no longer necessary.  The email subscriber list will be name and email only.  Not that it matters. because we all live in a computer simulation anyway.  I mean, how else can you explain the infinite possibilities expressed by the living, sentient creature masquerading as Donald Trump’s hair.

6. Children

This Website and our services are aimed at adults, and we do not knowingly collect any Personal Data relating to children aged under 18 years old. If you are under the age of 18, please do not provide us with any of your Personal Data, including your email address.  Children should be neither seen or heard.

7. Access to and control over your Personal Data

You have legal rights under applicable law in relation to your Personal Data. You can ask the following questions, or take the following actions, at any time by contacting us via email Info at GDPResources.com

  • see what Personal Data we hold about you (if any), including why we are holding it and who it could be disclosed to (although this is purely going to be your email addess.  If you want to know about IP logs and cookies, I would need to engage an outside consultant for that.  His names Bob and I think he showers in Old Spice.
  • ask us to change/correct your Personal Data;
  • ask us to delete your Personal Data;
  • object to the processing of your Personal Data;
  • ask us to restrict the processing of your Personal Data;
  • withdraw any consents you have given us to the processing of your Personal Data;
  • and express any concerns you have about third parties’ use of your Personal Data.  If I was you though I would be more worried about how the NSA know how much cheese is in your fridge.
  • Find out the secret ingredient to my late Grandma’s chicken recipe

8. Change of purpose

We will only use your Personal Data for the purposes for which we collected it…to tell you about blog posts and book releases.

9. Contact Us

Our full details are: SNH Publications Ltd
Email for Privacy Questions: Info at GDPResources.com

 

Site usage information

Session cookies

Cookies are pieces of data created when you visit a website. They are not unfortunately made of chocolate.  The cookies our site uses are “session cookies”, which means that your “preferences” are stored temporarily while you move around the site. You can set your computer not to accept cookies. However, if you do this, you may not be able to use some site features because we need to record your preferences in order to give you the information you need during your visit.  You may, however, save your computer form contacting diabetes.

Session cookies are deleted when you leave the site. They do not contain any personal information about you, and do not hold any information about which sites you visited before

Log files

Log files allow us to record visitors’ use of the site. They enable us to make changes to the layout of the site and to the information in it, based on the way that visitors move around it…although I can’t honestly see me doing anything like that…I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t bothered with all this now.  I should have just become an accountant like my Mum wanted me to.  It’s a steady job, and you can work from home apparently.  I once met an accountant.  Awesome fellow, had a different colour shirt for each day of the week.

Log files do not contain any personal information or information about which other sites you have visited.

What happens when I link to another site?

This site contains links to other website’s, mainly Amazons. This privacy policy applies only to our site, so you should always be aware when you are moving to another site and read the privacy statement of any site that collects personal information.  As much as I would like to be in a position to, I have no control over Amazon.  In fact in ten years the whole internet will probably be owned by Amazon, and we will all have to bow down to the great behemoth.

We do not pass on any personal information you have given us to any other site.

Changes

If this privacy policy changes in any way, we will place an updated version on this page and pray to the Blood Gods that it is compliant with GDPR.  We may feel compelled to sacrifice a five-legged goat, and chant something gothic sounding…although as Sean faints at the sight of blood, probably not. Regularly reviewing this page ensures you are always aware of what information we collect, how we use it and under what circumstances if any, we will share it with other parties…it will also bore you to tears and probably result in you gouging your eyes out with a rusty spoon.  We, therefore, advise keeping all cutlery in another room for the duration of your stay on this site.

Terms and Conditions of Use

SNH Publications Ltd takes every care to ensure that information published on this website is accurate when posted and is regularly updated but does not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of such information and may change the information at any time without notice. The blogs are mostly mindless drivel, and if you believe anything written in them…well I have some shares in Enron to sell you.  In particular, SNH Publications Ltd is not responsible for any information on the website that is provided by third parties or for the content of any other website from which you have accessed this website or to which you may hyperlink from this website.

The contents of this website should not in any way be construed as legal advice. If in doubt you should speak to your professional adviser.  yes I know that will be expensive, but better safe than sorry.  Or you could just take everything I write with a pinch of pink Himalayan rock salt.

You use this website at your own risk.  Don’t worry, the undead Horde won’t leap from your computer monitor. SNH Publications Ltd will NOT be liable for any loss or damage which you may incur as a result of using this website and does not promise that this website will always be available or that access will be uninterrupted or free from failure. Neither can it promise that transmitted information will not be lost or that viruses or other destructive materials will not be sent via malicious third parties. If someone can hack into the Pentagon website, then they can hack into this one. Nuff said.